Committee to Evaluate Committee Effectiveness Concludes More Committees Needed to Evaluate Committee Conclusions

A Triumph of Democratic Process

The Federal Advisory Committee on Advisory Committee Optimization (FACACO) has achieved what many thought impossible: completing an 18-month review of whether federal advisory committees serve any discernible purpose. Their unanimous conclusion, delivered with the solemnity typically reserved for constitutional amendments, is that three additional advisory committees must be immediately convened to properly digest their findings.

"We have determined, through exhaustive analysis and approximately 847 catered lunches, that our work is far too important to be left to just one committee," announced Committee Chairman Dr. Marcus Deliberton during Tuesday's press conference. "The complexity of our recommendations requires specialized oversight that only properly constituted advisory bodies can provide."

The Science of Advisory Excellence

FACACO's 200-page interim report, titled "Optimizing Optimization: A Framework for Framework Development," represents what members describe as a breakthrough in meta-administrative theory. The document contains 47 flowcharts, 23 appendices, and one particularly ambitious diagram that attempts to map the relationship between committees, subcommittees, and the committees that oversee the committees that oversee subcommittees.

"People don't realize how much expertise goes into properly advising," explained Dr. Sarah Consultworth, FACACO's vice-chair and author of the seminal work "Meetings About Meetings: A Practitioner's Guide." "You can't just throw together a group of experts and expect them to provide expert advice without first establishing the proper advisory infrastructure."

The committee's methodology involved interviewing 312 current and former advisory committee members, analyzing 15,000 pages of previous advisory committee reports, and conducting a comprehensive survey of conference room availability across the greater Washington metropolitan area. They also commissioned a separate study on optimal bagel-to-participant ratios during morning sessions.

Revolutionary Recommendations

FACACO's three proposed committees represent what Chairman Deliberton calls "the next evolution in advisory committee science." The Committee on Advisory Committee Report Implementation (CACRI) would be responsible for translating FACACO's recommendations into actionable guidance. The Advisory Committee Advisory Committee (ACAC) would provide ongoing oversight of CACRI's implementation efforts. Finally, the Meta-Advisory Review Board (MARB) would evaluate whether ACAC is properly advising CACRI about implementing FACACO's original recommendations.

"It's a beautiful system," noted committee member Dr. Patricia Roundtable, whose 30-year career has included service on 47 different advisory bodies. "Each committee serves as a check on the others, ensuring that no recommendation goes unadvised or any advice goes unrecommended."

The proposed structure includes built-in redundancies that FACACO members describe as "advisory fail-safes." Should any of the three new committees reach conclusions that contradict FACACO's original findings, a fourth emergency committee would be automatically triggered to mediate the dispute.

Implementation Timeline and Budget Projections

FACACO has thoughtfully provided a detailed 73-step implementation plan that begins with forming a pre-committee to select members for the committee that will choose the members of the three recommended committees. The entire process is projected to take between 24 and 36 months, assuming optimal committee formation conditions and adequate parking availability.

Budget estimates remain preliminary, pending completion of a cost-benefit analysis by the newly proposed Committee on Advisory Committee Cost-Benefit Analysis Formation (CACCBAF), which would itself require approximately $2.3 million in startup funding. However, FACACO members express confidence that the long-term savings from properly optimized advisory committee operations will eventually justify the initial investment.

"We're not just spending money," emphasized Dr. Deliberton. "We're investing in the future of American advisory excellence. Our children's children will thank us for taking the time to properly advise ourselves about how to properly advise ourselves."

Expert Consensus and Public Reception

The report has received enthusiastic endorsement from the National Association of Advisory Committee Professionals, the Institute for Committee Studies, and the Washington Metro Area Conference Room Suppliers Alliance. Dr. Theodore Symposium of the Brookings Institution called it "a masterpiece of circular reasoning applied to practical governance challenges."

"This is exactly the kind of thorough, methodical approach that advisory committees were designed to provide," noted Dr. Symposium. "They've successfully advised us that we need more advice about their advice, which is precisely the kind of advice we should be getting from our advisory committees."

Public reaction has been notably absent, which FACACO members interpret as a positive indicator that their work is proceeding without unnecessary interference from uninformed opinions.

Looking Forward: A Sustainable Advisory Future

As FACACO prepares to transition into what Chairman Deliberton calls "advisory emeritus status," the committee has already begun preliminary discussions about forming a follow-up committee to evaluate the effectiveness of the three committees they've recommended. The Federal Advisory Committee Assessment and Reassessment Initiative (FACAARI) has been provisionally funded through 2027, with options for renewal pending satisfactory performance metrics.

"The beauty of a truly optimized advisory system," reflected Dr. Consultworth, "is that it becomes self-sustaining. Each committee naturally generates the need for additional committees, creating a virtuous cycle of democratic deliberation that could theoretically continue indefinitely."

FACACO's final meeting is scheduled for next Thursday, immediately followed by the inaugural meeting of the Committee to Plan the Formation of the Committee on Advisory Committee Report Implementation. The agenda includes introductory remarks, selection of a subcommittee to draft preliminary bylaws, and discussion of catering preferences for future meetings.